Top 5 reasons to have another early election
# 5 Elected officials want to get it over before cottage season
# 4 Take the minds off hockey for Calgary, Edmonton, Ottawa and Toronto
# 3 Creates a new drinking game for Universities as they drink every time “coalition” is mentioned
# 2 The anger over money spent on an unnecessary election will keep us warm
# 1 Frozen Canadians have missed Elizabeth May talking about global warming
NDP leader Jack Layton was in Edmonton during Earth Hour which is how he spun the dimming prospects for the NDP in the province.
Liberal Leader Michael Ignatieff is excited to participate in his 1st election saying the leaves on the trees in Harvard are especially striking in June.
Conservative Leader Stephen Harper was denied an opportunity to perform at the Juno awards on Saturday. Officials refused to give the Liberal, NDP and Bloc Quebecois a chance to sing a response saying it would take too long. A spokesman for the oppositions groups denied this would be a problem saying they would save time by singing from the same songbook.
The CBC has embraced a new tool, Vote Compass, which has people filling out a survey to determine who will win. So far the clear leader is Justin Beaver followed by Drake and Nikki Payne.
I’m not sure why the opposition parties are so upset with the Conservatives building more prisons. At some point all of the Ministers getting convicted have to be housed somewhere.
Jack Layton spent time in Quebec to condemn the oil sands tax breaks and the results were fantastic. Next up Layton will tour BC and complain about Toronto getting all the movies, Saskatchewan to complain Toronto gets all the tax breaks and Toronto to chastise the rest of Canada for hating Toronto.
In an attempt to connect with the younger voters all of the Parties are fully engaged in Social Media with Twitter accounts, Facebook pages and YouTube videos of them puking up a JaggeBomb. The candidates all have Facebook profiles with each of the parties trying hard to get people on Facebook to poke them. Asked to comment former PM Jean Chretien was confused saying Canadians were mad when he poked voters.
I asked the Wit and Writing for Women (www.cheersproject.com) comedy group to suggest Twitter names for the candidates. Here are some of the best:
Stephen Harper @sweatervest, @grumpypants, @dictator-in-waiting
Michael Ignatieff @homeinengland @smartiepants @packingjustincase
Jack Layton @pickmepickme @justafleshwound @Iheartcoalitions
Elizabeth May @chickenlittle @badmenwon’tplaywithme @1millionpeopleloveme
Gilles Duceppe @whereismypension @canadasuckswhereismypension @let’sseperatewhereismypension
I hope the leaders of the other parties who don’t have an elected member in Parliament don’t sue me for leaving them out of the jokes!
